I was updating the SBOA file just now and suddenly this thought came to my mind. "Penatnya jadi KP!" Being the head of English Panel at young age is obviously not easy. You need to push yourself to be fast learner. You need to digest all the information quickly and act fast. You have to know how well do the students perform in the subject.You need to know the figure, well at least how much percent did your students pass in previous UPSR. Does it have improvement? Or does it not? Why? In short, you need to be fully aware of everything that relates to English subject.
Also, you need to familiarise yourself with many acronyms. ETR, TOV, GPMP, GPS, GPI and so many more. You need to always remember to update your file which I really don't favour at all. Mai time pemantauan, baru sibuk nak update file. Just like what I was doing just now. Baru terkial kial nak update fail SBOA. Lepas tu nak hadap pulak boss yang banyak karenah. Nak macam itu, nak macam ini. Sampai berpinau mata mengadap laptop. Huh. Bosan.
Sometimes, I do feel that I am the only one who is doing the job. Supposedly, KP ni kerja dia mengarah dan supervise je kan. But not for me. It's like I'm the only one in panitia. Minit mesyuarat pun sendiri bikin. Laporan program pun sendiri bikin. Nak buat program pun, sendiri bikin. Some of the senior teachers are not helping me at all. The only reason, "Akak banyak kelas la hari ini", "Akak busy la dengan program tutt teeet". At last, it was me alone doing the thing. Malas nak panjang cerita. Buat jugak walaupun dalam hati menyumpah seranah dah. Muka toksah duk kata la. Dah tarik 2 inci.
Can you see how hard for me to be the KP? The biggest challenge is to give instruction to my so called anak buah. The wide age gap between me and them makes it even harder. I've tried not to sound so "bossy" when asking them to do something.Guna bahasa elok."Akak, minta tolong hantar borang pencerapan dekat saya by this week ye" instead of "Akak, saya nak akak hantar borang pencerapan dekat saya by this week ye". If you see very carefully, the only different is the word "minta tolong" and "nak" je. You know which want is more favourable kan. Even when I use the more favourable sentence pun ada yang tak makan saman! She nods hard like she fully understands the urgency of the matter."Okay. Esok akak bagi." Tapi sampai ke sudah tak berhantar borangnya! Gitu la ibaratnya susah sikit bekerja dengan orang yang lebih senior dari kita ni. Sekali dua boleh tahan la. Lama-lama, malas nak kisah dah.If anything, terus rujuk dalam office. Senang. I'm not saying that all my anak buah macam tu.Ada yang sangat bagus dan hormat kita as ketua even umur dia dari tua dari kita. Kalau nak dicerita, banyak lagi benda yang meruntun jiwaku ini sepanjang menjadi KP. But let me just keep it to myself. Kena hentam depan cikgu cikgu lain pun dah pernah merasa. Sabar je lah.
There are times I feel bullied.Not only as KP but as a new teacher.Semua nak hempuk kat kita. Adat kot naa. Tak sabar nak jadi senior. But, these experiences teach me to be a better person. I learn many new things in such a short time. You learn best through experience. Don't you? So, let's stay positive. Lama lagi nak jadi cikgu ni oii...